she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
