his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
