You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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