Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
