Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
