how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
