Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
did you just send me my own nude
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
