I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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