i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
