He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
