I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I checked into jail on foursquare
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
