i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
