Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
