I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
