More tranny stories later!
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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