Can i not drive my cunt home
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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