I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
