Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
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