who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
