So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
