Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
