I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
