Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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