Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
