Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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