We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
