It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
