Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
