I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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