Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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