dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
