not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
