Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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