I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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