Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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