Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
