dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
