This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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