hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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