The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
