in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Drunk is a universal language darling
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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