i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
