oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
