i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
