Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
