my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The feeling are messing with the penis
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize