dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize