I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
