I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
This toilet bowl is my home.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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