Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
