I am puke
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
