i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
