Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
