i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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