You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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