By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
