Three words: puerto rican gang bang
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
