Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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