haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
