He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I still have a little drunk in my system
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
