You made me cry and you don't even care
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize