"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
