Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
