Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
