I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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