its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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