ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
