u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
