i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
