If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
