just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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