Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize