bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
