he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
