if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
