Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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