the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize