So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
