last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
