sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
he high fived his dick after we had sex
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
