Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
only you would photoshop your dick
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
