So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
