Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
