Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
