Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
