Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
