i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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