$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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