look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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